r/clevercomebacks 7d ago

Other people’s kids is a surprisingly great form of birth control

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87k Upvotes

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u/yblame 7d ago

Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you should.

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u/allisonann 7d ago

Life...uhh... finds a way.

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u/CatumEntanglement 7d ago

Which is the beauty of vasectomies and bisalps. As well as abortion if anything fails.

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u/errant_night 7d ago

I made a lady get really upset once because when I said I didn't want children, ever, she gave me the little condescending laugh and said "Oh, you're going to get pregnant and I'm going to laugh!"

She did not like that I said if that happened I'd immediately get an abortion and truly looked like she was going to cry.

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u/prairiepanda 6d ago

I get so irritated by these people. It's perfectly normal for a man to have no interest in children, but if a woman says she doesn't want children people think she just needs more time to warm up to the idea. Why aren't we allowed to make our own choices??

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u/spoopyelf 6d ago

Because women are nothing more than incubators for humans. /s

But seriously, I hate the fact that when I tell someone I have good news, they immediately think I'm pregnant. I'm worth more and better things happen in my life than getting pregnant. So frustrating.

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u/RadicalSnowdude 6d ago

I’ve always been okay and more than happy to talk with people asking or wanting to talk about why I don’t want kids ever. But I really can’t stand the people who make the condescending statements or the smug assumptions, like they think they know my own life better than I do.

“Oh you’ll change your mind, trust me _smug wave_” fuck you Karen.

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u/Schnellson 6d ago

Sounds like she has either no idea what contraceptives are and/or no self agency. Either way, yikes.

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u/pokemonsta433 6d ago

My parents think it's your duty to society to have a kid and further the world. I think there's enough people doing that personally, and I don't really have a desire to have a kid. I feel like I can contribute more to society if I don't have to get off work at 3:00 to pick them up from school and spend the rest of the night doing their homework with/for them anyways

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u/onenifty 7d ago

Getting one tomorrow. 34m. Wish me luck. Fuck bringing kids into a world that's going to be hellish in 50 years.

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u/zvug 7d ago

Good luck with the abortion

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u/Crafty_left_nut 7d ago

I too choose this man's abortion

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u/nsfwmodeme 7d ago

But, but... That guy is 34 years old, much more than 12 weeks!

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u/throwawaymightstay 7d ago

I too know what this reply is referencing

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u/CatumEntanglement 7d ago edited 7d ago

Excellent news on the snip. Just remember you won't be in the clear right away.

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u/BeVegan-StopBreeding 7d ago edited 6d ago

Getting one tomorrow. 34m. Wish me luck.

Good luck !

Fuck bringing kids into a world that's going to be hellish in 50 years.

Life IS hell and has ALWAYS been hell. Fuck forcing living beings(kids) into vulnerable decaying flesh prison bodies.

Edit: I replied to ur comments but it doesn’t show up(I’m guessing it’s the mods) so I’ll PM u my reply.

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u/buttaholic 7d ago

As if I'm even having sex ha ha

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u/I-POOP-RAINBOWS 7d ago

Life...uhh... finds a way.

Not in the pooper!

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u/Imriven 7d ago

Im almost forty and still feel like I’m too young for kids lol. No kids for me thanks. Plus a tiny human ripping my v to my a doesn’t sound like a good time

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u/shaflandl 7d ago

sadly, most don't understand this..

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u/cranomort 7d ago

This is my excuse for not having a gf/wife

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u/bralessnlawless 7d ago

Just because you desperately want to, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to.

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u/porn53653 6d ago

People can start having kids at like 15, they definitely should not though

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u/Dildo_Baggins__ 7d ago edited 6d ago

I made a mental promise to myself that I'll never get kids unless I actually get a stable job and a nice home. No fucking way I'm making my child's life miserable just because people are pressuring me to have one early. Starting a family ain't a race, why do people gotta pretend it is? Don't be fuckin selfish. Think of your child's future

Edit: Since people keep asking, yes I am a guy. This may seem a terrible plan if you're female (biologically at least), but as a dude, we can still make babies till we reach our 40s, maybe more. It might be different for women so I apologize. But if by some chance my balls ran out of juice and fatherhood really wasn't for me? Then yeah, I wouldn't mind honestly. Adoption is a thing, and so is in vitro fertilization (had an aunt who did this). Really, I'd pretty much prefer to have kids because I want to, not because of peer pressure. Being prepared and stable is a big bonus too. This was a philosophy an older cousin of mine shared, and it made me realize how hard it is raising a kid unprepared. So yeah, once again this is just my point of view, you can disagree with me if you want. But my advice? Live life to your fullest before settling down. You don't wanna find yourself yelling at your kids and blaming them for all the time you lost during your youth. Please don't do that.

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u/samuraishogun1 7d ago

I wish this thought process was more common.

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u/fuzzyblackyeti 7d ago

Bruh my ex for whatever reason had a specific timeline on when she wanted children regardless of where she was financially/careerwise.

I feel like I'm weird for wanting to have kids on my mid to late 30s so I can actually enjoy life without that responsibility.

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u/SmellyMickey 7d ago

My parents, who had me at 34 and my brother/sister at 36, preached the importance of living your life before settling down and having children. It didn’t make much sense to me growing up, but as a 29/F now I’m so glad I heeded to their caution!

In fact, I’m not sure if kids are even in the cards for me at this point. I love the freedom of being child free. I love my career. I love having disposable income to spend on things I want to do. I have nothing but upward pursuits and future adventures planned. Kids aren’t completely off the table for me at this point, but they certainly are not a must like they were in my early 20s.

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u/Richiesthoughts 7d ago

I definitely hear that 🍻.

I'd adopt at most, coming from parents that divorced and made my life hell compared to the working class kids in my neighborhood.

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u/Durty_Durty_Durty 7d ago

29M child free as well. I always felt behind that all my friends have kids and I was still running around on little adventures, then one day around the fire one asked me if I ever wanted kids and I said “you know, I don’t know.”.

They then all talked about how jealous they are of me that I get to just pick up and run off on weekend camping trips or wake up and randomly decide to go to a different city. When in my head I could see my self in their shoes too with the right person.

But I’m happy where I’m at and I don’t struggle, I don’t feel bad about being selfish with money because I only have to take care of myself and my dog anyways. Plus everything is so damn expensive now days.

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u/GrammatonYHWH 7d ago

FYI lots of people preach a biological timeline because there's a bit of science behind it. The rate of birth defects and fetus abnormalities tends to grow exponentially after the mother hits around 30-35 years old.

https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/pregnancy-over-age-30#

The chance of having a child affected by Down syndrome increases from about 1 in 1,250 for a woman who conceives at age 25, to about 1 in 100 for a woman who conceives at age 40. It is possible that risks may be higher as many statistics only report live births and do not take into account pregnancies with chromosomal abnormalities that were terminated or ended due to natural pregnancy loss.

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u/alexmikli 7d ago

On the other hand, the rate of poverty induced post-birth defects, like personality disorders or poor nutrition, are pretty significant too.

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u/Dildo_Baggins__ 7d ago

Yep. It's easier for most people here to say that because I don't think they come from the same country I do. It's hard raising a kid here, believe me when opportunities are hard to come by. Especially with high rates of corruption and poverty. That's why IF I get kids, I'll make sure it'll be far from here

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u/anothathrowaway1337 7d ago

I think it is best to adopt a child in such countries. I personally live in Turkey currently, and if I were to stay here for longer than I plan to, I would adopt a child to try ease the misery and pain of living here.

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u/AntonK777 7d ago

If you don't mind me asking, what country are you referring to?

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u/treesnbees222222 7d ago

There is a degrading of both male and female genetic material.

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u/GraceLink 7d ago edited 6d ago

Thank you. It's been proven that an older father has an effect as well, not just the mom. Idk why but this is a misconception that bothers me a lot.

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u/nocussinginmydiscord 7d ago

You're not wrong, but family history is also an important consideration, as is weight and other health issues. You can for sure have a happy and healthy baby at 40. The "a bit" is the important part of your assertion. Your statistics are right, but we also have better prenatal testing, better IVF and better healthcare than we did 20 years ago.

I'm not saying you're advocating for the opposite of this, but it's much better to be a 40 year old mom with healthcare, a plan, and a desire for kids than a 25 year old with no healthcare, no job, and no plan.

What I'm trying to say is, I think using statistics to scare women into having kids before they are ready is something a lot of wannabe grandmothers and doctors do and I for one am done with it. Have kids when you're ready. Your body and brain will stop you when it's time.

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u/OmenQtx 7d ago

Anecdotally, I have some friends who had kids in their 20’s. They’re poor, miserable, have no health care, and can barely break even from one month to the next. Still good people, but stuck in a dead end.

Meanwhile I’m a 41 year old dad to a 1 year old, and my wife and I couldn’t be happier. We have a house, stable finances, savings, health care, and a happy and healthy child.

I can’t even process how tough our lives would be if we had a teenager right now.

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u/ldsljft 7d ago

Not just abnormalities increase, but also fertility decrease. So having a kid becomes more difficult with age, and you have a higher chance of having some issues if you do succeed.

female fertility by age

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u/Jhonopolis 7d ago

Miscarriage rates rise exponentially too.

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u/ReaDiMarco 7d ago

And they suck.

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u/buyfreemoneynow 7d ago

First time we made it past the first trimester, our fetus had trisomy 13, 19, and 21. My wife was 40 and we were told there was almost no chance we would be able to carry it to term and if we did then there was almost no chance it would come out alive.

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u/bored2death97 7d ago

I wonder how growing up in a home without a stable income or family compares to the downsides of waiting to have kids?

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u/JustDiscoveredSex 7d ago

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the cost of raising your typical kid to the age of 18 is around $240,000.

But that figure can quadruple for a kid with special needs. Like, for instance, Downs Syndrome.

Just something else to bear in mind when calculating costs and risks.

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u/ryan_jay11 7d ago

Having been on both sides of this now (going from 'i never want kids ever' to deliberately working on our second) I think this gets overplayed. Our lifestyle has changed very little- I still go climbing, we both go backpacking. Still travel, still go out to restaurants and tap houses. We took one year off from major outdoors stuff but after that we were literally backpacking the Sawtooths with an infant no problem.

You have to just involve them in what you're doing, otherwise it will never be 'normal' for them to do it and it will be the big hassle everyone makes it out to be.

I have boatloads of fun with my 3 year old that I never had before. You think we would have thought to put a trampoline in our dining room if an energetic toddler didnt give us the idea? It would have never happened. But now I get to jump on a badass indoor trampoline every night with a kid who's twice as excited as I am about it.

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u/desacralize 7d ago

It probably depends on what you enjoy. You can't bring an infant along while in the Peace Corps trying to alleviate malaria in Africa, or doing shifts as a medical resident, or exploring abandoned buildings for your vlog. So yeah, shouldn't assume kids are an automatic death knell for all other passions, but they are for some.

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u/CrazyBastard 7d ago

Don't judge her too harshly, women start having major fertility problems starting at 35, so there can be serious time pressure.

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u/iBeFloe 7d ago

My friend has a “timeline” for things as well. She HAD to lose her virginity before she turned 21, so she fucked the first guy she met at a party. If her friends did something she hadn’t done yet, she always felt anxious that she was “so far behind”. We don’t talk much anymore but ga’damn she stressed me tf out with that.

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u/Obama_fingered_me 7d ago

While my ex didn’t have a timeline, she wanted a big family. I’m talking 5 kids big.

She comes from a Micronesian heritage, so she came from a huge family. Last I checked, her uncle was on kid 15....

Meanwhile, I’d be perfectly fine adopting a kid if it came to wanting children in the future.

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u/PlayfuckingTorreira 7d ago

I treat it like an achievement, after I hit these number and saving, I can get this on my list, I want that shiny new PS5, I need to save this amount and make these investments then I can get it.

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u/12apeKictimVreator 7d ago

i think its becoming more common. but puts tinfoil hat on artificial economic crisis, artificial shortage of homes from the man all seem to be a form of population control.

someone shouldn't need to save up a million dollars just to raise a family.

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u/bankerman 7d ago

It is among smart people. Idiocracy was no joke. The Flynn Effect is reversing.

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u/ChillingDylan 7d ago

This. Having a child is a lot of responsility. I personally wanted to adopt, but I'm AGES away from being in a place to adopt. I'd still like to help out people in need, but as they say you gotta be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else.

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u/radicaltronic 7d ago

I understand why people who wants to have kids chose the natural route instead of adoption. My aunt told me abut this and it is VERY complex. What I didn't know is that not every orphans, kids in need can easily be adopted. There has to be a framework in place of the parents AND the kids side, and that framework of social workers need to find the parents or legal gardians or authority and make them relinquish parental rights over the kid. Then there's all the Country bureacracy+ State/Province bureaucracy on BOTH sides. Then the social need to examine every single fkin details of the parents life etc... plus the 10s of thusands of dollars. It's like its made to be undoable. That's why people, well they fk and creampie.

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u/SEQVERE-PECVNIAM 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yes, it's extremely complex. It's funny how society gives a shit about the (potential) parent's life when children are adopted, but doesn't give a flying fuck when children are produced biologically.

Apparently, we (kind of) know what we want in regard to a decent home to grow up in, but we don't care enough to actually enforce it in similar circumstances. That is, unless the situation gets totally out of hand, leading to more children in need of adoption...

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u/likemyhashtag 7d ago

Hell, I won’t even get a dog until I have a stable job and a house with a big backyard.

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u/sweetfumblebee 7d ago

I remember when my husband and I had planned on trying for kids when I turned 27. Bil's gf told me there was no point then.

She was miserable and had 3 kids at the time, she was probably around 27 at that point.

We did end up trying two years before we originally planned, but it's because we both wanted to.

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u/ncvbn 7d ago

Wait, who's Bil?

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u/ForAHamburgerToday 7d ago

He invented the Pokemon Storage System.

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u/GotShadowbanned2 7d ago

Now isn't the time to use that!

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u/TigerlordZ59900 7d ago

It means Brother in-law

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u/gfish123 7d ago

Could go either way tbh. My parents waited until they had their perfect home to have their perfect boy and then whooped my ass whenever I didn't live up to their expectations.

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u/TheOffice_Account 7d ago

a stable job and a nice home.

Millennials laugh in freedom

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u/lakeghost 7d ago

Same. Then I learned I’d struggle to have healthy offspring and honestly? Big weight off my shoulders. Soon will snip snip for safety but they won’t let you adopt w/o some capital to care for the kiddos, so it sort of requires me to be prepared if I want kids now. Same with surrogates, that’s not cheap. So good news is I can enjoy my youthful years how I’d like and when I’m older and wiser, I can help kids in need. That or at least volunteer/donate.

I think people should really consider their motivations and what the options are. For one, having kids because that’s what people do? Terrible idea. Having kids because you like children despite dirty diapers or stomach bugs and want to nurture them? Please care for kids. But besides that, there’s always a risk you might have a miscarriage/stillbirth or have a child with disabilities. Hell, you might have twins or more. People also still die in childbirth. So there should be a lot of thinking about what you do if, say, you get told your baby has a chromosomal anomaly and will never be normal. Can you take care of a child not just for 18 years, but forever? And if you can’t, are you planning to abort? Put the child up for adoption? There’s a lot of things that really should be thought of before.

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u/basic_mom 7d ago edited 6d ago

This is a great strategy for the most part. The issue with waiting too long is that women having babies past the age of 35 have higher risk factors for themselves and their baby (babies). The risks get higher as the age of the woman progresses.

For me, it was important to have kids before age 30, since all the women in my family have miscarriages when they get pregnant past their 30s. Family history can and should be a consideration when having children as well.

This is why millennials aren't going to have as many kids as baby boomers, it's harder for us to achieve stability and homeownership by the age of 30, so a lot of people will choose to be childless or have kids much later - which not everyone will be capable of.

Starting a family isn't a race, you're totally right about that, everyone has their own timing. I had my first at 23 and waited 8 years before even considering having a second (which I did have), it was hard to build wealth and I wanted to create a sense of security for my kid(s). I don't think it's fair to say that poor people are selfish for having kids. Having kids should not be something only wealthy people are entitled to. However, I totally agree that you should wait until you are ready. The decision is totally on the individual and outside pressure to have kids should not be a factor. I remember a lot of people telling me after I had my first that I should have another "it will be easier! They'll entertain each other!" Yeah, no. It's harder the more you have.

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u/rethinkingat59 7d ago edited 7d ago

Remarkably if you were poor as a child you are much more likely to have children early and prior to marriage.

According to a long interview form study of poor unwed mothers followed over several years (“motherhood before marriage”) a common theme was mothers believed that waiting to have children because you are poor made no sense because “children don’t know they’re poor”. Many did believe in waiting for marriage until they were financially stable.

100% opposite of the thought process of most middle class women with several years of college.

A video presentation by the researchers.

https://youtu.be/wRUj_C5JdHs

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u/ChefInF 7d ago

Ugh. I was a poor child. I knew I was poor. I’m still not middle class. I don’t want to do that to anybody else.

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u/imisstheyoop 6d ago

Ugh. I was a poor child. I knew I was poor. I’m still not middle class. I don’t want to do that to anybody else.

I find it interesting hearing the kids don't know they are poor.

Growing up poor I was acutely aware of that fact. There was no escaping that you were different from a lot of other kids.

Maybe it only applies to super young kids, because once you start school it becomes very obvious.

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u/Rainbowrobb 7d ago edited 6d ago

Or

Adoption

EDIT. I know the adoption system is awful in the USA. Even being a foster parent can be chaotic (is often chaotic). If I was to adopt, I would request that only those who are full time wards of the state (eligible for adoption) be placed with me. At that point, there are enough grants to cover much of the fees. But retail adoption is in-fact incredibly expensive. In some instances it can rival surrogacy.

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u/Dildo_Baggins__ 7d ago

I actually learned that the hard way. Most of my cousins had kids wayyy before they graduated high school. Fucked them up big time. They don't have any steady income, don't have a permanent place to call their own, and they struggle to make ends meet. Their excuse? I shit you not it's "the more the merrier." I can't say I grew up in poverty, we're more of a middle class family. But we grew up in a bad neighborhood in a third world country, and I don't really want my kids spending their childhood here. My cousins who got kids early lost their chance to move out to find a better place knowing they don't really have the cash to do so, and not to mention having more mouths to feed. I don't want to continue the cycle of poverty. I want to start a family somewhere nice, you know? Build a home I could call my own and not live in my mom's place rent free. That's just my point of view at least. Being surrounded by people who ended up being "teen parents" really did something to my mindset

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u/basic_mom 7d ago

I totally understand, and I do think you're acting out of a responsible standpoint. Although, I'm sad to hear about your family members who are suffering in their situation. Having a steady income is super important for everyone's wellbeing in a family.

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u/dabesdiabetic 7d ago

23! I was still acting like a kid at 23.

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u/ChefInF 7d ago

Poor people aren’t selfish, they’re ignorant. Also the danger of Down’s Syndrome, for instance “doubles” after 30 years of age. But it doubles from .5% to 1%. Really not an issue unless you’re pushing 40.

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u/Privateaccount84 7d ago

Gotta say, unless you’re talking about living in complete destitution, the kid probably won’t even notice.

I was born into a single income family that barely scraped by. I had a great childhood. We didn’t do summer vacations, ordering in pizza was a big treat, and I never had top of the line stuff, but I didn’t know anything else, so I was pretty happy.

Nothing wrong with growing up lower middle class. Not saying you have to have kids before you’re ready, just that you shouldn’t feel you have to wait till everything is perfect, because life never is.

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u/ElbowRocket99 7d ago

This. Everytime someone on Reddit says "financially stable" I wonder if they mean "can go to Disney and blow 10k every year." Our family makes enough to get by, right now, but I cook my ass off to give them food from around the world. Our family gets out for plenty of hikes, trips to the beach (we camp or use airbnb at less popular spots), day trips, etc. We live within our means as my parents taught me, and we seem happier and stronger than most of my friends' families who make more money but are fractured or simply throw money at their kids instead of helping them learn to appreciate what they have. I grew up lower middle class and while we didn't go to Europe each summer or something we had plenty to eat and clean clothes (hand me downs, but still). I loved my childhood and I think my kids are having a great time too.

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u/aceshighsays 7d ago

add emotional maturity to the list. it doesn't necessarily come with age.

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u/la009 7d ago

My birth control was taking care of a 2 month old for a week by myself from 8am-6pm.... when I was 18. It was an emergency but that week was an eye opener for me!!! No children for me till I want some!!! Am currently 30 and still don't want some!!

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u/mango-mamma 7d ago

Yeah my older sister had a kid when I was 18 & then she had to move back home. My younger brother & I got to see the unfiltered reality of having a child and it honestly (to me) looked like hell. That is the biggest reason that I’m no longer interested in ever having kids and the way that my brother talks about his experience living with a baby-then toddler-then child in the same house as him, well I wouldn’t be surprised if he never has kids either!

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u/Wh1te_Cr0w 6d ago

I'm 36 in one month exactly, and I am yet to come across anyone with kids (of those ppl whose declared life purpose wasn't to just procreate) who doesn't envy the freedom of those without children. Life gets busy as-is, imagine having zero time for yourself for 10 years straight...

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u/runeofrose 7d ago

That sounds like hell! I'm glad you got to experience that. Most people don't have any idea how difficult taking care of a child is (especially when done alone!!! I don't know how you did it, and at 18 no less!) until they have their own. I just had my child at 30 and I'm only now realizing how difficult it is.

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u/Danbu42 7d ago

I had a coworker(f) try to convince me that 16 was the optimal age to have kids b/c you "wouldn't be too tired to play with them."

Yeah, you would if you were working a job in addition to school and getting no sleep because CHILDREN ARE WORK.

I love kids, but I'll never have one until I can say for sure that I can devote the time and love they need to grow up healthy in body and mind.

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u/SmartShelly 7d ago

Interesting... so she thinks kids don’t need clothes, food, friends, education... Or somehow these are provided in “magic”

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u/bloodaxe51 7d ago edited 6d ago

Her plan is to push them off to her mom and dad. If you have a kid at 16 that might as well be your sibling.

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u/tyna_96 6d ago

lol this is so true, i know a few people who had kids in high school and their parents just took care of the kids, and suddenly they're like 25, with a 9year old kid who they can leave to take care of itself all they while they just enjoy their life and not give a damn.

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u/SenorBeef 7d ago

lol "the ideal to age to have kids is when you can be their age appropriate playfriend!"

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u/minicpst 7d ago

That's called being a babysitter. Playing with them without being full time responsible for them.

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u/Donut_lie 6d ago

So all my life i have babysat my little brother/s and when i turned nine my cousins started making me babysit their babies, and when i tuned 15 i decided to stop and now i know for a fact i dont want children because of how stressed i was all the time. I just want to relax.

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u/SuperSandLesbians 7d ago

How old was the coworker?

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u/Swiftest_Scout 7d ago

If she thinks that she probably isnt too worried about school, to be fair.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

4/5 very real reminder that past generations forced more mouths to feed before they could feed themselves.

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u/goldensunshine429 7d ago

They also had no birth control. I doubt my great grandma wanted 8 kids.... she just had no means of control ( biologically OR culturally).

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u/RantingOracle45 7d ago

I(27f) have seen enough people my age and younger who have 3-5 kids and don't know how to parent said children. These kids are often less than a year apart, allowed to do whatever they want, and/or have health issues their parents are in denial (or don't care) about.

I feel sorry these kids but how they act makes me glad that I'm childfree.

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u/thepurplepajamas 7d ago

Moving to the southern US and trying to date in my 20s, the amount of early 20s single moms with multiple kids is just depressing to see.

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u/RantingOracle45 7d ago

Yeah, that's true. I think Florida is one of worse. We have so many teen moms and twenty-something party animals with kids that it's surprising people think of this state as crazy old folk country. I mean, it is but still.

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u/hitdifferent 7d ago

I just think of Florida as crazy folk country in general, all y’all wilin down there

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u/Doomepicrock 7d ago

Let’s just hope Casey Anthony isn’t these Mom’s Folkhero.

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u/AtomR 7d ago

Bruh. I hate the fact that everyone knows that she killed her kid, still she's roaming free. Fuck her.

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u/smokinphatdoobs 7d ago

Dude tell me about it, well I’m on the east coast. A was talking to a girlfriend with a kid, she seemed cool and I like kids but then she says she’s preggos with twins like..tf

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u/ponder2019 7d ago

I read that 1 child costs about 200K before college. Seeing as I have a few hundred in my account AND I'm behind on bills, I literally can't afford one kid.

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u/cerebud 7d ago

My day care is $25K/ year. $200K sounds like a dream.

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u/TheBowlofBeans 7d ago

That's how much my rent costs

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u/jackswift7 7d ago

That's how much I make a year.

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u/Dafish55 7d ago

Well, first of all, I’m gay...

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u/Everybodyimgay 7d ago

Likewise! PLUS!!!!! Can't anyone use birth control to avoid such calamities? Or am I so gay I'm totally out of the loop on this?

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u/lakeghost 7d ago

Technically yes, but it can be difficult depending on your country. For instance, despite having a dominant genetic disorder, they wouldn’t sterilize me for free/cheap until now when I’m almost 25. It’s ridiculous. Nobody wants sad mutant babies. I can’t afford two of me. So I’ve just been extremely careful. Almost obsessively. Besides my health, that made dating a bit rough. First find someone who will date a disabled person and then find someone who also hates the idea of reproduction.

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u/Dafish55 7d ago

I mean, they're not literally 100% effective, though, statistically, using more than one at the same time would leave very little to chance.

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u/Roku6Kaemon 7d ago

Or you just get something like a copper IUD that is 99.99% effective.

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u/HereLiesDickBoy 7d ago

I guess you've never watched the documentary called 'Junior'.

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u/RomanArchitect 6d ago

Biology is no excuse. Gotta step up, amigo.

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u/Puzzleheaded-77 7d ago

Pfft.. I’m 39 with no kids!! (That I know of)

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u/CatumEntanglement 7d ago

38 and childfree here! It's fucking fantastic.

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u/TheBellCurveIsTrue 7d ago

41 and no kids. Tbh I'm currently in a sperm donor traject and if all goes okay I will become a so called 'known donor'.

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u/ashcatmeow 7d ago

30 dual income no kids. Life is good!

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u/politicsdrone 6d ago

same. DINK life best life.

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u/Form_Resident 7d ago

I had to delete fb because it’s all just peoples kids and other moms and dads sniffing each other’s farts

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u/winazoid 7d ago

And every post is bitching about how hard it and exhausting it is like uuuuuuh yeah? You didn't know that going in?

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u/Wh1te_Cr0w 6d ago

Man I love that - when I hear someone complain how they didn't know how much work it would be. Is that so? In a day an age when information on literally building a nuclear bomb is available step by step online, you couldn't find out what parenthood, something that we've been doing since we crawled out of the ocean, might entail? Listen carefully to the sound of the world's smallest violin.

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u/elsieburgers 7d ago

Dude same

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u/Enk1ndle 6d ago

I just have to deal with "fur baby" posts, thank god

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u/CCrypto1224 7d ago

It was about the twentieth inexplicably crying child having the Single. Worst. Day. of their young life while working my retail job that made me rethink ever wanting kids. How my parents didn’t strangle my ass when I was that age should be taught in schools. If I do have kids, they wont know what the inside of a store is until they’re walking in picking out their first cellphone at fourteen. Using money from the swear bucket I will have to keep.

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u/tissuesforreal 7d ago

All these parents complaining about how hard their life is. Bro, you didn't rubber up. Don't come crying to tell me I'm irresponsible, because I wasn't the one who fucked up.

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u/paradox037 6d ago

All these parents complaining about how hard their life is.

And with their very next breath, they'll excitedly ask you when you're going to have kids, then proceed to relentlessly pressure you toward that end.

And I'm just sitting here, like, "dude, I'm single. I can't just order one on my phone and have a stork deliver it to my door."

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u/JollyTolly 6d ago

I swear 99% of people have never heard of birth control, and about 95% of guys have never heard of jerking off. They literally think the only way to cure their horniness is fucking. So many poor, unwanted children.

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u/tissuesforreal 6d ago

I mean, human companionship is a thing people like. Being a pack animal is a double-edged sword I guess.

But it amazes me that people are shocked that sex leads to children. Like you have a billion ways you can express companionship and you pick the one that leads you to contemplate dual weilding hatchets.

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u/Squeeze4200 7d ago

Yes the fuck it will. No fucking thank you.

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u/ChubLyfe 7d ago

I didn't want kids, so I didn't have them. They aren't something that just happens to you. 😏

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u/ian22500 7d ago

You gotta have sex to have kids right?

Yeah that’s probably how...

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u/LICK_MY_SCROTUM 7d ago

Yeah, its pretty simple to not have kids if every person you meet looks away from you.

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u/FeatheredSamus 7d ago

My offspring will likely have an even worse version of my chronic genetic conditions, including cancer, and I have a 10% higher chance of dying during labor.

No thank you.

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u/Trapper1111111 7d ago

that's why i got snipped at 23 lmao

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u/maybehun 7d ago edited 6d ago

If only it was that easy as a woman at that age :/

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u/Cherle 6d ago

r/childfree has a big list of doctors across the country that are very pro sterilization and shouldn't make a fuss. The actual subreddit is kinda cancer though so be warned.

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u/DAVENP0RT 7d ago

I'm in my mid-30s and I'm never having kids. When my wife and I were dating, we both shared a mutual dislike of children, but figured it'd maybe change once we'd been together for a while. That change never took place, so we've concluded that it's just gonna be the two of us from here on out. Well, the two of us, plus our menagerie of animal friends.

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u/helloworld9025 7d ago

I'm 29 with no kids.

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u/alishka100 7d ago

Me too. My husband and I choose to be child free and nothing beats the freedom tbh.

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u/KatKarrier 7d ago

Literally me. Im 27 and I have none and will never have children. They're whatever, but they can ruin lives and relationships. Just not for me.

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u/rubyspicer 7d ago

I got too many problems to add kids to the list. If me and my wife fuck up, it's just us dealing with it, and we have a hard enough time with that

Besides, I feel like I got to 13 and just stopped maturing. I look at myself and go who in the hell would trust me with a child?

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u/Elsas-Queen 6d ago

Besides, I feel like I got to 13 and just stopped maturing.

My 27th birthday is this year. I'm still waiting for this adult thing to feel natural.

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u/blutmilch 7d ago

I'm friends on fb with some girls I knew back in middle school. We're all in our mid twenties now.

Most of them have kids, and fewer have a husband or partner. The constant rants about raising kids as a single mom, or raising kids in general, are annoying as fuck.

If you weren't ready to handle the responsibility, maybe you shouldn't have had all those kids.

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u/imooforyou 7d ago

Friend from work is 42 and still complains about how consuming and exhausting it is. I don't think that ever gets easier. At least when they're little.

I had a scare at 29. Realized I didn't want to have kids until I felt like I was actually good for the kid. Parents aren't entitled to plaything grandkids. They can get a fucking hobby. I want to be a good Dad.

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u/robizzle89 7d ago

This. I don't get how this isn't further discussed in sexual education classes. You don't make kids just because you're in love. You plan the shit and have a stable years long relationship before doing it. And yes, nothing against people that had success with the love thing but it's usually just a phase of being in love and not real love.

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u/Grillos 7d ago

people under 30 having babies is practically teen pregnancy

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u/fuzzyjedi 7d ago

I got married at 21 because I was stupid, and divorced at 24. I straight made a conscious decision not to have kids until I was 30, and put in effort to make sure it happened.

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u/WhoryGilmore 7d ago

I never plan on having kids so I'm biased, but I'm like 26 right now and I can't imagine having kids any time soon no matter what. Only one of my friends is even married and has a house and he doesn't plan on having kids for years.

I barely feel like I've experienced life at all yet why would I close all my options by having kids?

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u/Durantye 7d ago

I really just don't understand people who have kids young, no one benefits from that, including the kid themselves. Why would you ever want to bring a kid into this world when you have so much more to do in life that would make not only your own lives better but the lives of your potential kids exponentially better as well. I'm fully aware accidents happen but there are a lot of people out there that actively choose to have kids young and unprepared and its just insane to me.

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u/JoogaMaestro 7d ago

Idk, my uncle had his first kids around 50, so realistically he’s not going to have long with his grandkids, if he dies at an average age his oldest will only be 30 when he dies. The way I see it, if you know you want to have kids and you’re financially equipped for it, then waiting is costing years with family you want to be having. It really is just a matter of priorities. Obviously you specifically said people choose to have kids unprepared which is definitionally not a good thing, my point is just that there are perfectly reasonable reasons to want to have kids younger.

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u/Durantye 7d ago

While age can be a limiting factor it still pales in comparison to the need to be financially and emotionally equipped to handle children. I was raised by my grandparents so I'm not at all unsympathetic to the conundrum of not being able to have long with your grandkids but like... honestly that isn't that big of a factor in my opinion. To me 90% of being ready for kids is being able to give them a proper life otherwise it is being done for selfish reasons, and financial and emotional wellness are the lion's share of that capability. Like yeah, if you hit a financial sweet spot at 25 and you're in a good stable relationship there is no problem with wanting to have them in that 'sweet spot' age range, but if you're approaching 35 and still struggling to support yourself... you still shouldn't be even considering the idea of a child.

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u/Kryptosis 7d ago

Ugh grandkids, all that is is an assumption of your own child’s life. Now they’re obligated to have kids so you didn’t waste your childhood by raising them so you could see their kids? Seems kinda insane to me.

Say your kids can’t or won’t have kids, then what, you wasted your young adult life on an assumption.

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u/_kumpelblase_ 7d ago

My doctor told me to be done with children when I am 30 due to medical reasons. I dont want to be a young mom but i dont want to risk infertility. I get what u want to say with ur comment but for some people there are no other options...

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u/paradox037 6d ago

Like another commenter said, it's more about what stage of life you're in.

If you're still living like a teen, then it'd be just as irresponsible to have a kid as if you really were still a teen. But if you've got your shit together, and you're not rushing into it, then I don't see the difference between having a kid at 25 vs 30.

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u/gizamo 7d ago

Utahn here. Our "practically teen pregnancy" is outta control.

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u/Consistent_Earth_556 7d ago

I met this family of 5 (four girls) where the second oldest got preg at 14 but the father stayed and now they have 4 kids. Meanwhile the eldest daughter just had triplets followed by the second youngest having her second child on the way. Families are insanity, I'm glad I only have one sibling.

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u/athaliah 7d ago

Maybe for some people, but not everyone. I know a few people with kids who are fully supported by their parents just like they would be if they were still 16. But there are plenty of parents under 30 with stable relationships, decent jobs, and their own bills to pay who don't deserve to be lumped into the same group.

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u/MelQMaid 7d ago

Teaching is a prophylactic.

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u/XxFireflyxxX 7d ago

Having kids isn’t a race. Plus, some people just don’t want kids.

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u/Previous_Afternoon76 7d ago

I think when people post things like this they most likely regret having kids. You know the saying misery loves company. I think that applies here.

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u/KapteeniJ 7d ago

I always wondered why have kids in the first place. I think I might just be missing some evolutionary drive, but it seems funky how much people seem to want them when I just cannot relate.

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u/broccolisprout 7d ago

Feels like being surrounded by a large cult, or being in a movie like the body snatchers. Everybody blindly reproducing as if it's no biggy.

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u/winazoid 7d ago

"My parents pressured me" bitch are you such a child you're gonna let your parents decide your whole goddamn life for you?

"Every time I see them all they do is make fun of me for not having kids" then stop seeing them. Problem solved

I swear some people never grow up....and then those people have kids

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u/broccolisprout 7d ago

Pretty much.

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u/Shaquille_Oatmeal_72 7d ago

I have four brothers and they all have children...there's like 9-10 kids between them. No thanks, no kids for me. Not only that, but just because you're able to reproduce doesn't mean you should. One of my older brothers has six kids by FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN. His oldest is damn near out of high school and his youngest isn't even a year old. Mother fucker needs a vasectomy.

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u/willmaster123 7d ago

Honestly, its such a weird cultural divide where in new york it seems people don't really have kids until their mid to late 30s, and then in many suburban and rural areas people start popping out kids right out of high school.

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u/--0IIIIIII0-- 7d ago

Vasectomy at 29 was the best $50 I spent. That's why I'm 35 without kids. Kind of amazing.

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u/djmem3 7d ago

Well, seeing what's up with everyone I know, here is my takeaway:

  1. The pullout method does not work. Period. 4 couples, 4 sets of kids.
  2. Condom/birth control does not have a 100% success rate. Know 1 couple that the pill failed them. Sucks, but it happens.
  3. If you can commit to it, getting your tubes tied or meat tube snipped is awesome. Other friend loves having had a hysterectomy, she had not a fun time with PMS, cramps and tons of discharge.
  4. Religion and anything with sex is a 0 sun game. Every single deeply religion friend is not happy with sex, or their love life. None.

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u/ARXholeMuncher 7d ago

0 sun game

r/boneappletea

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u/Rabanski 7d ago

They don’t seem illiterate so I’d chalk that up to a typo.

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u/CemeteryJuice 7d ago

As our planet Earth gets worse, people still breed and both aren't even fun.

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u/ElDoggothegreat 7d ago

I’m 17, and can confirm that if I where a dad, I don’t think I would be incredibly happy with my life

Especially since I am not mature enough to raise a kid

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u/goldensunshine429 7d ago

Real easy when you’re infertile.

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u/thatG_evanP 7d ago

Why do people act like having kids is some sort of achievement? Maybe in the old days when it helped to have your own little slave labor force to work the farm. But now? Now it just means someone's pullout game is weak. Now it's more of an achievement not to have any.

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u/least_lucky 7d ago

The people who said they loved me did not love me. Still looking for the one to have kids with... pepehands

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u/Banethoth 7d ago

She acts like she ain’t heard of birth control smh.

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u/Dr-Satan-PhD 7d ago

45, no kids. Best financial decision of my life. Really, it was the best decision in general.

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u/shinxanta 7d ago

Dawg I can’t even afford to keep myself alive let alone a mini me

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u/Sicparvismagneto 7d ago

I went through chemotherapy and now I’m sterile. So thats one way to do it.

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u/vram1974 7d ago

The world is grossly overpopulated so not having kids is a wonderful thing to do for this Planet

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u/NinjaHora 7d ago

I’m 27, but I feel too immature. So I’ll wait.

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u/TheBellCurveIsTrue 7d ago

41 with no kids, single, decided to stop chasing. Best decision ever. I'm doing fine.

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u/Manbearcatward 7d ago

38m, no kids. Don't want them, don't like them.

Partner feels the same.

Toughest thing we have to do most weekends is decide is where to go for breakfast or where to go camping.

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u/dunndundun0601 6d ago

28f and every single time I see someone that LOOKS my age with multiple kids I I immediately think, "theres no way in HELL I could ever!!

I went to Walmart last night with my fiance for cake and chips. Saw a mom who had just gotten off of work with her 3 kids. I looked at my fiance and said "idk how she's doing it but couldn't be me!!" He said, " yeah! We're always so exhausted after work. I can't imagine having to leave work to go pick up kids so you can go to Walmart for groceries THEN go back home to cook!"

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u/Bjay_jw 7d ago

Having to take care of your siblings is a good indicator of whether or not you'll want kids....

I don't want kids. Not enough looooove in the world to make me want any. Nore will I even have a kid for any other reason except actually wanting a kid...

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u/hgcjoircbjk 7d ago

Used to work with this girl who was 22 with 4 kids.. like.... what the fuck??

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u/SenatorRobPortman 6d ago

I just keep being a lesbian. It is an incredible form of birth control.

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u/echoesofsavages 7d ago

I’m 47 and have no kids. Being a parent can look rewarding sometimes and just awful other times. I don’t regret not having any. I have a ridiculous amount of freedom from commitments and obligations. For me, it’s absolutely the right choice. I made quite a few mistakes in my life, but I did not bring any unwanted kids into this world.

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u/smellybulldog 7d ago

I’m 42 and my wife is 39, first child coming soon. I can’t comprehend how people do this young.. I’m still terrified we are not ready. While simultaneously thinking I’m too old for this.. it’s bizarre.

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u/Conditional-Sausage 7d ago

My own kids are a surprisingly great form of birth control.

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