r/Tinder 2d ago

I genuinely feel so bad for Katherine. Girl needs a hug.

https://i.redd.it/nwfq2ilwjsc71.jpg

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u/paracookt 2d ago

sounds like she just wanted to be angry

like why even ask where you’re from if she didn’t have a followup

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Right? Haha. Maybe she wants to call me a "dumb fuck" in person?

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u/SpeakerForTheDeadJD 2d ago

Yeah, you like that, you fucking dumbfuck?

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u/Historical-March-510 2d ago

Because had he said he wasn't in that exact place, she would have gone off on him for matching in the first place.

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u/KyleReese_1984_ 2d ago

Wtf....She was completely hostile. Wooah

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u/Brown_Panther- 2d ago

I've interacted with people like that. Some people... just want to vent. They've been hurt or pissed in some way in their lives and feel vindictive pleasure towards people who are just being nice.

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u/UrMomma4 2d ago

I believe that when "bad" things happen to us, if we don't deal with it or push it away, that energy stays with us. Accumulate enough, and that's when you get reactive explosions from people. They need to meditate. Heal that inner child. Most of the time, these things are just projections from past hurt.

Or I'm wrong. I don't know. Just a theory of mine.

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u/Super-Contribution-1 2d ago

Hurt people hurt people.

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u/Starslip 2d ago

Crab people crab people

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u/moremysterious 2d ago

Taste like crab, talk like people

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u/Kinda_stitious 2d ago

“We’re crab people now? That’s your new business plan”?

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u/ChungusKahn 2d ago

Someone check this man's head, he seems hurt. He's repeating what he's saying.

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u/pixieservesHim 2d ago

BAHAHAH that's why I never use that phrase in text. It just doesn't have the same impact

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u/Missy_Elliott_Smith 2d ago

I've seen worse when people put a comma between the "hurt people". I just think, "Wait, did they just tell me to hurt people twice?"

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u/EatablePork3454 2d ago

I hate when people put commas in the wrong place. It really annoys me and I don’t know why.

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u/ComeOutDaBushesOnEm 2d ago

Hurt people, hate people

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u/Kiwifisch 2d ago

He's actually encouraging us to hurt people.

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u/Gj_FL85 2d ago

*Emotionally immature hurt people hurt people

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u/HugeMisfit 2d ago

Sometimes being hurt, damaged, or injured, causes humans to behave in ways that hurt, damage, or injure other humans. Emotional immaturity is not required as much as emotional hurt, damage, or injury.

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u/MrJoeBlow 2d ago

No I think you're pretty much exactly on the money here. I used to push others away (to a much lesser degree than OP's pic though) and I could never understand what was wrong with me. Some of us really are just walking defense mechanisms and trauma responses.

What helped me to heal was understanding that we're all like this and beneath the layers and layers of defense we've built up over the years, we have a fundamentally good nature. Once I was able to start seeing that within me instead of viewing myself as a lost cause, I was able to see the good inherent in everyone else.

More and more I'm finding cliches to be true rather than them making me want to vomit. One that sticks out to me a lot is "hurt people hurt people." OP handled the situation well, all you can do in that situation is understand they're lashing out because of their own pain, wish them well and be on your way. I hope she's able to heal.

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u/beef-empanada 2d ago

Heal that inner child.

For a Reddit comment that was surprisingly insightful and helpful to me. Thank you, u/UrMomma4.

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u/Long_Educational 2d ago

You just shook me to my core. Very true. I have gotten into past arguments where I completely broke down and started sobbing, not really understand why, because the point of contention was actually a small trivial thing, but something from my childhood was triggered. Even just the threat of reliving that pain sent me over the edge and had me completely defeated.

Childhood trauma can stick around forever and catch you off guard.

It will also completely confuse and upset the person who experiences you doing this, as they watch you fall apart in front of them. Can be really difficult to understand it yourself and try to explain yourself to that other person.

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u/UrMomma4 2d ago

Oh trust me, I get it. As a childhood trauma survivor, I get it. People see us when we are at our low and judge and look down. But we are just hurt children inside. And our loved ones just don't get it because they didn't have our lived experiences. I'm truthfully surprised my husband stayed with me. We met when we were 20 (33 now) and often talk about how bad we were to each other.

Ok, I'm going to let my nerd side come out (I watch Pokemon with my son literally every night before bed, it is our routine) and there's this part in Black and White where they say there is no such thing as a bad dragon type. Well I hold that to people. There is no such thing as a bad person. Give them enough trauma, and you will see a whole spectrum of "undesirable" traits.

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u/Long_Educational 2d ago

Some people, shaped by that trauma, become truly evil too.

There are basically two types of trauma survivors. Those that use their pain to hurt others in a repeating self-propagating cycle of abuse, and those that decide to use that pain to know who they don't want to be, to never hurt someone like they themselves were hurt.

I choose empathy over inducing pain or indifference.

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u/batmessiah 2d ago

I mostly agree, but it's not always trauma. It's not nature or nurture, it's both.

I've experienced a lot of pain and trauma in my life, and I use that experience when raising my daughter, as I know what not to do when raising her. The absolute last thing I want to do to her is hurt her or cause trauma, and will use my past as a guideline for what not to do. My wife grew up essentially homeless for part of her childhood, so she is beyond overjoyed that we have a house, and that my daughter has toys, a room of her own, while that trauma will prevent us from ever going camping as a family, but that's okay. My daughter and I can do that together if she ever wants to.

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u/emrythelion 2d ago

That’s essentially what PTSD is. Obviously a more extreme version, but it follows the same idea. When something happens that hurts us, it can stick around until we process it.

In most cases, it might be as simple as lashing out when upset, but it can progress and progress until that anger spreads to all aspects of your life.

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u/ObnoxiousDrunk 2d ago

She only swiped so she could attack.

From the outside, mental illness is pretty easy to spot

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u/holyhibachi 2d ago

I still remember one a few years ago that messaged me "I matched with you to let you know that you are completely ugly".

Was it necessary, Ashley?

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

A girl on Tinder once super liked me, and when I messaged her she responded instantly with "You're too ugly to be on Tinder" then unmatched me.

???

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u/Llamathrust 2d ago

I remember reading a while ago that tinder has an internal ranking system kind of like pro chess so it matches people with similar scores. So basically she’s really just a 5 calling a 5 ugly. (Using 5 as an example number)

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

Well that's pretty cool to hear considering the girl was a smoke show.

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u/Jackson530 2d ago

I was matched with and told I look like a woman, trying to be a man. And promptly blocked.

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u/Ho_ho_beri_beri 2d ago

Wow, yours is my fav.

Fucking hell, some people are brutal, the worst I got was “you don’t have to pretend to be quirky” after I asked her about her favourite music albums.

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u/yeatsbaby 2d ago

“you don’t have to pretend to be quirky” Just reading that made me tired for some reason. People are utterly emotionally exhausting.

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u/GoatNo2 2d ago

Yeah I have that issue trying to read people too, my brain tries to automatically logic my way backwards through their thought process.

I believe the correct response to that is 'so you wanna bang or..?'

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u/ungolden_glitter 2d ago

A guy once matched me then promptly messaged me to say I was too ugly to date, but he'd let me make him a sammich. "Also, nice rack." I was like, uh wut? And promptly unmatched.

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u/1234321_1234321 2d ago

There’s an entire wing of Hell dedicated to Ashley.

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u/ZazBlammyMaTaz 2d ago

Once a guy messaged me to tell me my armpit hair was disgusting… thing is, you’d have to have looked thru all the pics and also like damn near zoom in.

Anyway I told him his beard hair was gross because I felt like being mean back.

Also, Ashley is a bitch.

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u/iSukYoDikk4aChzbrgr 2d ago

We all fucking hate that stupid bitch Ashley.

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u/Kaizenno 2d ago

"Haha wow! Same!"

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u/Walzenflut 2d ago

I have a similar story but it was to tell me the company I worked for made shit software. Even on dating sites I have to deal with customers.

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u/fallingfoodfor 2d ago

She Looc, She Swipe, but most importantly, she Attacc

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u/blastfamy 2d ago

She look stacc, she reply bacc, but most sadly, she attacc.

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u/Congrajewlations 2d ago

Manners she lacc, her messages a smacc, but who cares, she good in da sacc.

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u/Mirrawz 2d ago

Your reply is beautiful

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u/acidfox90 2d ago

Is it just me or is this a legit thing?

Entire profiles where it's nothing but bait, no matter which part you pick up to try start a conversation, crack a joke, whatever, they have some pre-prepared take down about how you're a disgusting sexist and pathetic loser and all that.

Like... What are these chicks getting out of this? It seems like a pretty unrewarding hobby.

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u/audiophilistine 2d ago

Actually I would appreciate it if a woman disqualified herself right up front like that. It’d sure save me a lot of time and trouble. But then I’m a rip the band-aid off, jump into the cold water instead of inching in kind of guy. On the other hand, I know a couple dominant women who prefer a man who will gladly take this kind of abuse. Takes all kinds to make the world go round.

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u/Long_Educational 2d ago

Schadenfreud. Narcissists and psychopath get off on putting others down. It feeds their own ego. It is not gender specific either.

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u/MikeHonchoGoFast 2d ago

Who hurt you Katherine?

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u/Caroline_Bintley 2d ago

Most days? Probably Katherine.

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u/p00nslyr_86 2d ago

Fucking Gary bitch.

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u/PYoungMoneyy 2d ago

Suck this dick wit ur ugly ass

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u/I-might-get-banned 2d ago

Cool, I see you can't carry a conversation

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she's projecting

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u/unicorn_mafia537 2d ago

She also forgot the comma after "cool" in the original conversation.

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u/GutsGloryAndGuinness 2d ago

He was better to her than she deserved.

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u/zdollaz 2d ago

Story of my fucking life as of recent. Women being HOSTILE.

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u/El_JohnSmith 2d ago

Sorry my brother, know the feeling.

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u/tigeruppercut231 2d ago

To be fair, Katherine really put in A+ effort in her opener. A real trailblazer in the conversation department

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

I was enamored.

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u/archit14 2d ago

She probably asked where you're from so that she could yell dumb fuck

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u/CPEBachIsDead 2d ago

so where does a dumb fuck like you come from anyhow?

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u/russellthemussell 2d ago

I cant stop laughing at this comment

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u/This_means_lore 2d ago

Cool I see you can’t carry a conversation. Try telling people more than you laughed. That is Reddit bro.

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u/Trekm 2d ago

That and to see if she could do it in person probably

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u/Mr_bungle001 2d ago edited 2d ago

How dare you not tell her your whole backstory of how you came to live there, how you like that area, and where you’ve lived for the entirety of your life. She clearly put that much effort in her previous statement. /s

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

I mean, I was about to do all that. But she gave me 2 seconds before her response.

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u/Mr_bungle001 2d ago

You handled that like a champ. You dodged a bullet there. At least she was up front about how she is and you didn’t have to find out later

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u/OldPotatoMan 2d ago

THAT BASTARD!

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u/Kingjester88 2d ago

I do enjoy the "Where are you from, FUCK YOU!"

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u/Lizardbrainedgame 2d ago

Ah typical Bumble, where the girls make the first move. Start with a "hi" and then wait for the men to carry the conversation.

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u/whyamiforced2 2d ago

Women talking about tinder: "I'm so tired of every guy having lame pickup lines. You need to have a good opener, if your opener is just Hi or is boring I'm gonna unmatch! Actually put some effort in!"

Women on Bumble: "Hi"

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u/RotorMonkey89 2d ago

I really want to believe that those aren't the same women. I want to believe that.

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u/argusromblei 2d ago

Good morning you dumb fuck! you can't carry a conversation!

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u/Sharksucker 2d ago

1) “Hi” 2) “Hello”

1) “well I see you can’t even fucking communicate you stupid- why can’t I find a great guy ?!?”

2) …. Backs away slowly

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u/ObnoxiousDrunk 2d ago

homer backing into bush

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u/idkwhatimbrewin 2d ago

Absolutely make sure you face her as you back away 😳

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u/QwertytheCoolOne 2d ago

Well if you aren't facing them when backing away, wouldnt you be going towards them?

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u/OKara061 2d ago

stop speaking logic

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u/XxRocky88xX 2d ago

Don’t the know the guy is supposed to immediately come out like the Dos Equis guy? How dare you expect a woman to do more than say one word at a time

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u/Twistdid 2d ago

I once had a woman on Bumble hit a button that asked me to "verify" my account. When I did that it then allowed me to message her without her messaging me first. She told me she does it all the time.

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u/Alcadeias27 2d ago

Doesn’t that totally defeat the purpose of that app?

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u/mangoat12 2d ago

She found a new level of lazy

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u/ImaginaryCoolName 2d ago

Maybe she was expecting "the guy is in charge of the conversation and he must entertain me" kind of thing

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u/danielgies 2d ago

Surprisingly common on Bumble. Women are required to start the conversation but rarely contribute anything more than a "hi" or hand waving emoji. Such a joke.

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u/AmosTrask80 2d ago

5) eww get away from me stalker

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u/RslashPolModsTriggrd 2d ago

She's gonna spend the rest of the day talking about that weird dude that was "like totally obsessed OMG!"

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u/WinterGentLeeds 2d ago

Handled that like a gent, well done OP

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago edited 2d ago

Thanks. It quickly went from "I think you're attractive." To... "my goodness I want to help you. But can't."

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u/wereplant 2d ago

Honestly one of the best responses I've seen on here. Most posts like this are pretty assholish on both sides, but you stayed 100% chill. Props to you.

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u/BoutTreeeFiddy 2d ago

I think these piss off the person more too (not that that’s really the goal). If you’re just a dick back, they’ll feel validated for being a dick and they’ll move on to being a dick to the next person.

But if you’re polite the whole time, I bet that’s just going to eat at them and it’ll stay stuck in their mind. Might make it more difficult for them to be a dick to the next person without questioning themselves why they’re that way

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u/azestysausage 2d ago

Killing them with kindness was my go to when dealing with nasty customers when I worked in retail. It always get kind of quiet and awkward in the best of ways

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u/unicorn_mafia537 2d ago

Yes! This horribly mean lady and her husband used to come in several times a week to a place I worked, but I was so over the top nice to her every single time that she called to complain I was too nice and perky and then just stopped coming. Her husband wasn't terribly nice either, but he became decent when he started coming through our drive-through alone.

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u/GrumpyMuffiiin 2d ago

So what happen with her, stupid, complain? Ahah

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u/unicorn_mafia537 2d ago

My manager laughed about it with me. Apparently she called corporate and corporate was very nonplussed and told her they couldn't do anything about it. I miss that job (I moved).

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u/huntingbears93 2d ago

That has always been my opinion. However, I was purposefully rude to one customer. I was the cashier, and she was openly talking shit about one of the baggers because she didn’t want her GIANT order bagged. She did not tell the bagger that. So she started screaming at him that he was too stupid. I said, “well next time, he will be sure to read your mind”. All of a sudden she got very quiet and sheepish. Didn’t help her embarrassment that there was a long line of people behind her who almost certainly heard. It was a very satisfying experience.

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u/Automatic-Worker-420 2d ago

I got the feeling it was a bit of a setup. She kinda attacked him for something pretty mundane, judged him, did exactly what she thought he did.

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u/eggery 2d ago

Seriously! He stuck up for himself without sinking to her level, name calling, or any condescending remarks. This should be required reading for this sub.

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u/Snoopy_Dancer 2d ago

You sound like a kind soul. I hope you find someone who deserves you!

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

It's all debatable, but thank you. Hard to know what one deserves.

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u/craxton222 2d ago

Just take the compliment you dumb fuck.

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Capt Dumb Fuck strikes again!

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u/GhostWalker134 2d ago

That's okay dude. We understand. Only licensed professionals can prescribe medication.

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u/WS-Sparks 2d ago

Depends on the medication.

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u/DanLim79 2d ago

"... but can't ". Where did you acquire this ancient wisdom?

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

By repeatedly throwing my heart into oncoming traffic.

For years.

For many people.

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u/Feralpudel 2d ago

One of the first things they teach you in lifeguard training is that a panicked drowning person will drown you too if you aren’t careful, and the first rule is to help them without letting them hurt you.

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u/niklas5463 2d ago

Me reading, it quickly went from "oh, she's fast jumping to conclusions about you" To... "oh, i really feel the need to give her a stone cold stunner. But can't"

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u/chrisrobweeks 2d ago

Being a few weeks removed from a dead-end relationship myself (though not at all as hostile as this), it's not your job to help them, even if you could. But very classy way to handle that.

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u/indigo_mermaid 2d ago

And the “but cant” part made all the difference. Kudos for that!

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u/Wrong-Currency 2d ago

Manners maketh man

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u/Brown_Panther- 2d ago

"Words to live by, Eggsy."

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u/sixtytwosixtyseven 2d ago

Country roads, take me home

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u/OmegonAlphariusXX 2d ago

I could hear the clacks and the music lmao

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u/FckWST_hold 2d ago

The fuck?

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Right? She came out swinging.

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u/FckWST_hold 2d ago

Psycho. Saved you time.

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u/siccoblue 2d ago

Yep, there's a lot of people like this that are good at hiding it until you're already sucked in. This one was nice enough to let OP know to stay away right out the gate

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u/simjanes2k 2d ago

She's a NiceGuy™

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u/KatVisser 2d ago

r/NiceGirls ™️?

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u/InternJedi 2d ago

straight out of r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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u/relevantmeemayhere 2d ago edited 2d ago

My rabbit hole after seeing the OP from r/all ends here; that shit is scary haha

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u/Daunt_OW 2d ago

I've looked into that black hole once or twice. It's actually depressing to view.

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u/KatVisser 2d ago

She do be angy

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u/archit14 2d ago

DUMB FUCK

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Check out my profile name now.

I'm owning it.

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u/NobobyGamer 2d ago

You’re awesome, lol

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u/Med_999 2d ago

Whatttt. How is this a real conversation

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u/cosworth99 2d ago

You clearly have not been on Tinder.

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u/scoonts89 2d ago

Well this is bumble sooooo

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u/Pete_Booty_Judge 2d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

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u/TooHigh2Die420 2d ago

Pretty sure her ex filed the divorce papers on that one....

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u/FalloutLover7 2d ago

Probably because she couldn’t carry a conversation

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u/Jfronz 2d ago

At least you have conversations with actual people on tinder

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

This is true. Thank you for the reality check.

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u/Korkenzieher420 2d ago

At OP you are a good Person. Arent mad even when somebody is treating you rudely

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

I'm pretty used to unhealthy relationships, where I inadvertent try to fix people. So it's natural 💁

I appreciate it - but wouldn't call me a good person till you knew me.

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u/scrobes 2d ago

Well maybe if you were better at carrying a conversation this wouldn't be a problem.

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Ugh. You're right.

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u/Korkenzieher420 2d ago

wouldn't call me a good person till you knew me.

Thats what a good person would say

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u/Someweirdswissdude 2d ago

She woke up and chose violence

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u/Faze_Hellen_Keller 2d ago

OP you’re a Saint, handled that perfectly

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u/spoopyspoons 2d ago

I’d sure like to match with a lad like you OP

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Awe, that's sweet. I'm right here though. Happy to talk.

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u/Nat1WithAdvantage 2d ago

Katherine woke up and chose violence lol

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u/wastedwaterindesert 2d ago

and why is the man's job to be the witty, funny, talkative person in a two-sided conversation? what rules indicate that?

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u/scamthrowaway420 2d ago

Welcome to 95% of interactions with online dating. Any remotely decent looking girl can match with anyone so they can afford putting in the most minimal effort possible and still get dates.

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u/MajesticFxxkingEagle 2d ago

Being a professional comedic writer only required if you don’t follow rules 1 and 2

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u/DetectiveDub 2d ago

Rule 3?

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u/AWildWilson 2d ago

Rule 3 is don't not be not unattractive

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u/bolicsteroids 2d ago

I wonder what response she thought would be acceptable!

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u/WeAreTheMassacre 2d ago

That's what drives me wild about Tinder, you always wonder what you're doing and saying wrong. Usually it's because the chick gives low effort replies, never ask any questions, never interject any cool tidbits or anecdotes for you to continue a proper convo, so you are wondering if you are somehow not "doing it right." In this case though I'd be confused and have some whole new level of anxiety. I think she wanted him to ask If she also lives there? Or what she's up to? I'm so invested in knowing what would've fulfilled her strict conversation needs in this instance lol.

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u/standley1970 2d ago

Lol. He spelled Karen wrong

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u/Barflyerdammit 2d ago

In 40 years she's going to need a van to transport 20 people for her church. NEXT!

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u/mahuddie 2d ago

That’s an A+ reference

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u/carbondatedlove 2d ago

Narrator: she did not, in fact, feel fine.

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u/miyamotto_musashi 2d ago

it’s you that needs a hug <3

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Honestly, you couldn't be more right. Not because of Katherine though.

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u/jennygirl69kiss 2d ago

Virtual hug ☺️

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u/Mattoe98 2d ago

Damn, i thought the white text was a dude and OP was the girl here. Not every day you see such an insecure girl like this that acts so rude immediately.

Tbf tho, thats what dating is. Dumb fuck

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

I am in fact the dumbest of fucks. 🤷

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u/fibbybritches 2d ago

Forget her. We can go out together, you stupid idiot.

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

😭 you're so sweet. My dumb ass would love to 💘

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u/Bleach_Baths 2d ago

Yeah come on down and I'll take you out for drinks you fuckin lepton!

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Pm me where! This sack of literal dog shit would love to.

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u/Bleach_Baths 2d ago

I'll give you a hint. It's a big city in the US. Figure it out, dumbass!

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

You're right. I belong in the mud, the wet wet mud.

Phoenix?!

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u/Bleach_Baths 2d ago

Nope! But equally as fucking hot and miserable!

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u/I_Learned_Once 2d ago

Equally? Wait is the literal surface of the sun a city in the US?

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u/TheArtWalrus 2d ago

-downloads grindr-

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

Best comment.

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u/TheArtWalrus 2d ago

Realistically I'd rather just get an unsolicited picture of an asshole than have to actually talk to one.

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

You should do standup

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u/eagleye03 2d ago

Tinder Karen

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u/jawatazz 2d ago

Damn did she pay the copay for that professional grade talk therapy? You were very patient.

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u/LittleBeastXL 2d ago

She’s gonna complain about not meeting any nice guy

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u/Lonely_Sun_7194 2d ago

Pretty wild, there was a girl who posted something like this yesterday but it was gender reversed and he waited until the next day at least. So glad that someone posted this to prove women do the SAAAAAME shit lolol

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u/d1k2r3o4l5 2d ago

People feel hurt and act out regardless of gender. It makes us become people we don't want to be.

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u/Lonely_Sun_7194 2d ago

Exactly. My comment said this among other things. Said that nobody knew if maybe that girl was the guys only match or what state of mind he is in. And it's crazy because the guy wasn't even aggressive like this woman

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u/AmosTrask80 2d ago

Her red flag can be seen from space lol

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u/Sequoia_Throne_ 2d ago

How dare you uhh... do... uh.... what you did..... wait

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u/duramman1012 2d ago

She asked a yes or no question and got mad you didnt type a paragraph? What are you supposed to say to that? If she lives there too then theres not much else to say that she already doesnt know. What a dumb fuck

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u/Arkmer 2d ago

Morgan Freeman: Kathrine did not feel fine.

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